Week 29: Marshmallows & Wedding Shorts

April 7, 2017 — Have you ever put a marshmallow in the microwave? Well so far that is my experience with tulle. For me, tulle is now a love-hate relationship, just like gooey, hot marshmallow (mmmm — seriously why haven’t you put a marshmallow in the microwave yet? Stick it on top of a chocolate square a bit of graham-cracker and thank me later). I’m still looking for a dress that will be fluffy and fun, but also smooth and simple. Long and short, but also plain but with sparkle. You got that? Me either. I try on a bunch of sort-of-wedding-dresses but sort-of-casual-dresses.

The results are … not so great:

 

 

I stalk dresses on Pinterest. Of course there are hundreds of gorgeous gowns. I’m starting to think I need professional help — and not just a therapist, but you know, someone who can handle this whole wedding thing for me. There are too many stores, too many choices and simultaneously, too few options for a court house wedding. I can’t show up there all cathedral-style and look ridiculous kicking around in the same courthouse where I argue divorce cases!

To help me gear-up for the gown hunt, I Pinterest old-school celebrity weddings. Princess Diana. Princess Grace. Jackie. Lucy. Audrey. You know, standard. And I have no idea what they were thinking (photo cred on Pinterest):

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Clearly Princess Grace was happy. Di, not so much. The only tolerable dress between them all is Audrey, and even hers isn’t really my style (though I note the tulle). Maybe light tulle is the way to go? I do like the tea-length but it doesn’t seem to be very popular right now.

Let’s look at some modern celebs because maybe old school is too old…

Solange. I wish I had her boobs. And her hair. I would need both to pull off that look.

Next: Gwen.

Too much for the courthouse but I really love the pink.

Anne Hathaway?

OMG Anne. What the hell is on your head? Worse than my dead pigeon fascinator!

All.the.tulle. So sweet. And Marshmallow.

Ok. So wedding shorts are an option?

I am no closer to finding what I want. But I’ll know it when I see it (right?)

divorcelawyergettingmarried29

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