February 17, 2017 — After last week’s visitation fiasco with my daughter’s father, he and I are both trying hard to be more communicative. Still, I find it incredibly painful to see the ghosts of our relationship during my exchanges with him. I talk to Mario about it, because I know that he understands (and he’s my best friend). We talk about how we have to let our respective exes find their way without us.
Meanwhile, I’m still excited that Mario has the ring and he’s pretty excited too. “I’ve shown it to everyone,” he tells me. “I can’t wait to put it on your finger!” he says. We ordered it from Brilliant Earth because of the conflict-free stone policy (and I love that you can pick different settings to personalize things). I’m scheduled to be in Florida next week, so I decide to test the waters with my mother (aka, Queen Cersei) about the engagement. I haven’t forgotten that she was less than thrilled about my dating again.
“Sounds like things are moving very quickly”!? Admittedly, I feel hurt, so I decide not to respond. Eventually she says “Congratulations.” Mario is quick to point to that as a good sign. “She loves me,” he says without a hint of sarcasm. “I’m winning her over.” His attitude about my parents is unflappable. “I like your parents,” he says. He coordinates with them to pick up my daughter’s car-seat so that he can get us from the airport.
I start thinking about my relationship with Mario. I think about how far I’ve come and where I’m headed. I think about all the doubts and fears and everything that has happened. I start writing. I write about ten weeks of this blog over a two-day time-frame. I email the entries to Mario before I go “live.” He seems hesitant about the situation (for obvious reasons, if you’ve read Week 6). He suggests that I show Erin and Jake too.
I’m actually pretty nervous about publishing the entries. They contain so much personal information. Sure, some of it I gloss over or tweak (“lightly fictionalize” or #alternativefacts), but for the most part, this is our story. And I’m a divorce lawyer. Attorneys are generally pretty stand-off about putting out personal information. Is it a sign of weakness? Will someone in a case try to use this information against me? (Nah — fuck that noise; just see what I do if anyone tries something in court).
But, where is this going? I don’t really know. I just know that I have seen and experienced so many divorces — hundreds of cases. And I’ve experienced my own divorce and miserable break-up. I stopped believing that love was real. Maybe someone can relate. Maybe someone reading this will find comfort or solace or hope.
As I design the blog, I decide I better add my Pinterest account and try to get that functional because I suspect I’m going to be using it for wedding planning! Almost instantly my friend Kate texts me.
“Are you engaged to your beaux in Orlando!?!? Saw a new folder on Pinterest!!! OMG!!! He looks like a sweet dude!!! I am so happy for you!!” Uh, what just happened? I think I have like 5 followers on Pinterest. Did I just announce my engagement before I’m engaged? Man I need to learn about Pinterest! #socialmediafail
I call Mario. “We’ve been outed!” I laugh and tell him what happened. “Ok, so maybe I jumped the gun,” I say. “I don’t even have the ring yet and now it’s public information.” He laughs, teasingly, “But I have the ring and I’m giving it to you next week!”